Many people seek marriage counseling in Vermont as an effort to save a marriage that is in serious trouble, but that isn’t always the case. Today we’re looking at three ways to think about marriage counseling. We hope these examples can illustrate ways that couples therapy can be different for each couple.
We all find ourselves in crisis at some point. If you’re in a long-term relationship, your partner should be your ally. But what if the crisis is threatening to tear your relationship apart? Perhaps there has been a serious trauma in one or both people’s lives, such as infidelity, addiction, a death in the family. Any of these can cause anxiety, depression or arouse anger. These strong feelings, if not processed appropriately, can threaten relationships of all kinds.
Working with a marriage counselor during a crisis, both parties can discuss what led to the current state of the relationship, what the most serious problems are and how to handle them in the near term, so they don’t harm the relationship beyond repair. Times of crisis are difficult, but they can be managed so both the individuals and the relationship survive the crisis.
In some cases, there isn’t an obvious crisis between partners. Instead, there is a long standing disagreement or set of behaviors that leads to stress, anger or recurring conflict. If you can both agree there is a problem to be solved, working with a Vermont marriage counselor can help you find new solutions to problems you’ve had difficulty solving in the past.
Entering therapy with a problem solving mindset can sometimes speed up the process of finding new options. The therapist enters the conversation as a neutral third party, ready to listen to both sides and help you arrive at a positive outcome or suggest incremental changes that can reduce conflict along the way.
There are many scenarios in which couples move on, separate or divorce but later decide to come back together. Maybe it’s a friendship, a new romantic connection or just sharing custody of children with minimal conflict. In all these scenarios the trauma that led to the breakup may still be present, even if it seems like it should be behind you.
Whether you’re working toward a successful marriage or just better communication, repairing the relationship is a goal you both share. With that in mind you can enter your counseling session ready to work through past conflict and build better communication skills for the future. If things were said and done in the past that need addressing, working with a counselor is a good forum to reopen that conversation while avoiding past behaviors that were destructive.
As you can see, the term ‘marriage counseling’ can mean many things to many people. If you have a relationship in need of support, get in touch. We’d be happy to explain how the process works so you can both benefit from the experience.
*Note: The content of articles on this website is not intended to diagnose or treat specific mental health conditions, only to provide information to those looking to learn about therapeutic options in Vermont and New Hampshire.