Marriage Counseling in VT: Changing Patterns

Marriage is often described as a journey, but along this journey, many couples find themselves caught in cyclical patterns that can impede growth and happiness. Defining and (perhaps) breaking up these patterns is a crucial step towards forging a stronger relationship and understanding each other better. In this post, we will explore the dynamics of such patterns and how VT marriage counseling can support couples in this process.

Understanding Common Patterns

What do we mean by ‘patterns’ in the context of a marital relationship? Typically, they are repetitive behaviors or interactions that prove unhelpful or damaging over time. These can range from poor communication and trust issues to more profound conflicts related to finances or intimacy. You may recognize this as a pattern if you find yourselves ‘having the same disagreement over and over’.

Common patterns that emerge in relationships include avoidance of each other to avoid conflict, cyclical arguments, avoiding or assigning blame, and a lack of emotional support or intimacy. Each of these issues can erode the foundation of trust and understanding that is essential to a healthy relationship, creating an environment of disconnection, and worse, of resentment.

Observing and Identifying Patterns

The first step toward change is recognizing what your partnership’s patterns are, and what role you each play in those patterns. It requires honest self-reflection and listening to what your partner thinks about your role in patterns. Their view might be very different from yours.Listen to your partner’s observations and look for common themes that appear in your and their observations

Observing your interactions and improving communication are essential for pattern recognition. Couples should strive for an open dialogue that goes beyond blame and focuses on understanding each other’s perspectives.

Breaking Patterns

Once your patterns are identified, you’ll need to discuss which patterns are harmful. What situations do you find yourself in again and again without change or agreement? Once you’ve agreed what needs changing you’ll have to discuss how to set boundaries, practice patience and learn to respond differently. This could be where you get a little help from a Vermont marriage counselor.

Seeking Professional Help

Identifying your patterns and agreeing to change them is a big achievement, but creating that change can take time and patience. Marriage counseling offers neutral ground where couples can learn to break their detrimental patterns with guidance from a professional. Marriage counselors provide the tools and techniques for couples to understand their behaviors and work through changing them constructively .

To summarize, there are clear steps you can take to identify, discuss and change your inter-relationship patterns, but creating that change is easier said than done. Breaking patterns isn’t just about fixing what’s wrong. It’s about replacing them with newer ways of dealing with disagreement. It’s also about setting the stage for future stability and doing the work of creating a better marriage. Whether you’re working on the change independently or with the help of a marriage counselor in VT, altering these patterns is a testament to the commitment and love that initially brought you together.

If you have questions about how to change patterns or how to work with a VT marriage counselor, get in touch. We’re ready to start the conversation.