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Upper Valley Counselor on Managing Relationships

Managing relationships can be difficult. That’s why there are so many breakups, employees leaving jobs and friends drifting apart. In some cases, quitting a relationship (romantic, professional or even a friendship) can be the right thing to do for you. But what if you’re in a relationship that you value and you want it to continue? Today, our Upper Valley counselors discuss ways that talk therapy can make that more possible. 

Decoding Communication

If everyone said exactly what they meant all the time, relationships would be much less difficult. But for a variety of reasons, people don’t always say what they mean. Maybe they are trying not to hurt someone’s feelings. Maybe they are avoiding conflict. Maybe they aren’t sure how they feel about something. For whatever reason, many people say one thing, but mean something else. Time with an Upper Valley counselor is a perfect opportunity to decode a stressful interaction with a partner, a friend or a co-worker. Tell the therapist what that person said, what you think was meant, and how you reacted. With your therapist, explore other possibilities of what the person meant and how to clarify that.

Self Reflection

After you get a handle on what the other person is communicating to you, use your talk therapy sessions to explore your role in the relationship. If you’re feeling anxious or unsettled about a particular relationship, why is that? Do you feel the person is being aggressive? Do you feel like they are manipulating you? Are you satisfied with the way you’re interacting with them?Is there something you’d like to say to them, but can’t quite get your point across? Could you be more clear, more direct? 

Discussing a difficult past interaction with your Upper Valley counselor is a great way to plan for a more successful future interaction. You can explore shaping that future interaction in the way you’d like it before you meet with the person in real life. You’re in control of the setting and everything that happens in it.

Conflict Resolution

If a relationship has recently suffered a major setback (maybe an argument or a period of disconnection) you and your therapist can explore ways to mend that relationship.Working through the history of that relationship and deciding how you’d like to proceed can help a future reconciliation go more smoothly. You can discuss where the faults lie. You can discuss how to deescalate a situation…how to find common ground or how to redraw the boundaries of that relationship.

Integrating Therapy with Life

In our experience, Upper Valley talk therapy is used for many things including: practical problem solving, private healing, and self-discovery . Your sessions can provide strategies you can take into the real world. How you use your time in talk therapy is completely up to you. Your Upper Valley counselor is there to help you succeed,and you define success.

We’ve seen time and again how talk therapy can provide time to reflect, a safe space to process real-life interactions and a testing ground to explore a new approach to the relationships in your life. If you’re curious about how Upper Valley talk therapy works or see if it might be a good fit for you, get in touch. We’re ready to start the conversation with you.

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