Sometimes, as adults, we forget that when we do things to take care of ourselves it also benefits those we love. This is true of taking care of a marriage, too. When parents do things that strengthen their relationship with their partner, it also benefits their children. Let’s look at how that might work.
This is a time of unusual stresses for families. The adults in the family are being asked to fill more roles than they normally do. Children haven’t been allowed to keep their normal routines. Schools were closed. Many day care centers are closed. Camps and activities are delayed or suspended. Parents are being asked to be teachers as well as workers and parents. Or your job may have disappeared, which causes a different kind of stress. These circumstances may strain a marriage and when adults in the home are under stress, children feel it too.
What are some signs you might see if your child is feeling stressed? A young child may resume even younger habits such as sucking a thumb or wetting the bed at night. Another sign of stress could be suddenly starting to bite fingernails, or becoming unusually quiet. Sometimes siblings quarrel more when under stress. If you are seeing these symptoms, it’s a good idea to pay attention, to observe your child and try to understand what is bothering them. Is it time to seek out a child therapist? Maybe. he problem could be that your child is observing your stress.
If that is the case, talking with a therapist yourself could help your child. Seeking marriage counseling in VT can help both partners understand the sources of friction and stress. A therapist can also help you understand how that stress is transmitted to your child. They will have suggestions for ways to work through or relieve the pressure on you and your family if you want that kind of help. Therapists at Vermont Talk Therapy are still working with couples and families. If you want help coping with these stressful times, get in touch.