The couples counselors at Vermont Talk Therapy sometimes hear assumptions about which couples can benefit from seeing a therapist. They tend to be along the lines of:
We are past the point of seeing a couples counselor
Couples counseling is for young people, not for older couples
We would counter those assumptions with a question, ‘Is your relationship worth preserving?’ If the answer is yes, then a conversation about couples counseling should be on the table regardless of how long you’ve been together or how old you are.
It may be true that younger couples are more open to therapy in some cases, but anyone open to working on a relationship is in the right frame of mind to try couples–or individual–therapy. In fact, there are milestones in a relationship which don’t happen until later in life that may be a perfect time to evaluate and renew your relationship.
Many couples struggle when their children move out. For years you’ve been a family unit; parents and children, and now it’s just the two of you. If you are no longer actively a mother or father, who are you now? If the two of you are not working together to raise your children, what is the next step? It can be a time when old sources of conflict resurface. . Identifying these worries and conflicts and working toward solutions can help solve problems before they tear a relationship apart.
Retirement can be another stressful time in the life of a relationship. Whether one or both of you is stepping away from a career, your schedule, sense of identity and your income are changing all at once. Despite the cliches about relaxation, retirement can be stressful, leading to conflict at home.
In summary, if you’re noticing stress in your relationship and your usual solutions aren’t resolving the conflict, maybe couples counseling can help. It’s never too early or too late to give it a try. If you’d like to know more about how couples counseling in the Upper Valley works, get in touch. We’re ready to talk about how appointments work and what you can expect.